Pivoting Past Perfectionism

I recently tuned in to a podcast episode titled The Gift of Imperfection on In the Light with Dr. Anita Phillips; as a recovering perfectionist, it resonated deeply with me. For most of my life, I have struggled with perfectionism and have diligently worked and continue to work to pivot past it; sometimes, the journey is overwhelming, exhausting, and debilitating. It has taken me years to accept, acknowledge, apprehend, and appreciate that I don’t have to be perfect! I no longer must wonder if I am good enough; I only need willingness and obedience to step into my purpose by stepping away from my fear.

Perfectionism stems from fear and thoughts of inadequateness, unworthiness, low self-esteem, poor confidence, and comparison. Pivoting past perfectionism has meant exposing my imperfections to those closest to me and those I was leading and managing, but more importantly, being okay with it. There were times, as I pivoted past perfectionism when I wanted to run and hide. Exposing my imperfections to the world has been difficult; initially, walking into vulnerability and transparency was foreign to me, and allowing others to see parts of me that I had long hidden was petrifying; however, from where I sit now, having done so, the sacrifice was worth it!

 When I think back to where the chase for perfectionism began, I must link it with many of my childhood and adult experiences where I often heard and was taught that being black meant I had to work harder, which my brain processed as having to be close to perfect to be seen, heard, accepted, included, acknowledged, or recognized. The underpinning of having to work harder as a minority has long plagued our community; I heard and lived through it as a child, as a college and graduate student, and as an Army Officer. It seems strange to say aloud and acknowledge before others, but I am unwilling to continue to work toward “proving myself.” There has been a pivot in my life, and I recognize that the numerous sacrifices did not yield the benefits I assumed they would. The only sacrifice that has yielded celebratory and worthy moments was my Yes to God; establishing this spiritual connection is what caused the pivot; it allowed me to understand that God didn’t need me to be perfect; he just needed willingness and obedience.

With the pivot in my spiritual life, I learned to pivot in other areas! I want to acknowledge that neither of the pivotal moments came without fear because they meant walking into areas of discomfort and leaving old and unhealthy habits, relationships, and mindsets. Pivoting past perfectionism meant pivoting toward something new, potentially uncomfortable, vulnerable, powerful, spirit-led, and in covenant with God! I am not here to paint the picture of it being easy, but here to acknowledge that the pivot is worthy and necessary for each of us to continue to mature, advance the Kingdom, and walk into our purpose and calling no matter how large or small others believe it to be.

 So keep pivoting away from the mindsets holding you hostage, pivot away from unhealthy relationships, pivot away from unrealistic expectations of yourself, and pivot toward all that God has for you! This is your pivot season!!

With Love,

Qwanquita T. Wright

CEO, Focusing on Self